The Scent of this City
I am just a stranger walking in different directions.
I go up, I go down, whichever way. My reflection is lost and clouded by urban smog
The scent of this city is sticking to my skin.
I fight to take clean breaths and realize I am sinking to my surroundings.
I hear her shoes splashing on the wet concrete.
The anxiety pulls me apart.
It goes into my veins and sticks into every part of my body.
Where does this end and do I begin? Why is my future in her hands like this?
She keeps it dangling on a string; she pulls and winds it around to keep me on my feet.
He looks into my eyes and asks me what’s the matter.
I don’t answer because he reads me like a book.
I became a collection of the thoughts and memories of what I did wrong.
I am a pile of broken bones and a mistake I once made.
But I am admitting that I messed up.
I’m begging and pleading for your forgiveness:
“Please don’t leave me, I need you,” I say.
If only I had a way to make this fly faster than I am falling for him.
What drives me insane is having no control.
I have no choice but to wait it out and leave it all behind.
I have to trust in his empathy to forgive,
And her vanity to forget.
I have to find myself in this mess.